This was written by a dear friend of mine. I read it and it got me re-examining a lot of things in my life. It blessed me immensely and I hope it does the same for you. Enjoy…


It was with almost a broken heart that the whole concept of distinguishing between these two sets of ladies in church crystallized in my consciousness. I see my sisters do the very same things that will chase the guys of their dreams farther away from them all in a bid to attract him. Please this is by no means chauvinistic or an attempt to demonize women, I am just writing from my experience and being a single man, I have noticed it more in sisters. Of course men have their evils and vices which could be even deadlier. I should also add that I am not writing this to have anyone come under condemnation or sentence anyone to hell and a life of failure. I am rather all about, first, emphasizing how crucial the intents of and the conversations in our hearts are in our walk with God and in the manifestations of Him we will see in our lives and endeavors. Remember our God judges the intents of the heart and honestly, I think the amount of great things you will do for and with God is proportional to how much the intents of your heart are in line with HIS WILL. That is, the amount of the manifestations of God you will see in your life, in all its ramifications is directly proportional to the purity of the intents of your heart (Mat5vs8). Secondly, I am writing to show forth the depth of the LOVE of Jesus. Regardless of how far away from Him our hearts would have strayed from Him, even if we still are going through the motions of church activities or how hardened our hearts would have become out of our errors, wrong motives and sometimes cruel intentions, He still yearns for a deep love relationship with us. And He is more than willing not to only forgive us our sins but also break the power behind them in us and correct those errors within us by His Spirit (Heb9vs7,14 and Rom8vs11). This is the LOVE that was demonstrated on the Cross of Calvary and the power thereof is still very Alive and Available today.

The terms “church girl” and “christian girl” have been used in this article to distinguish between these two sets of ladies in church and is by no means descriptive of any particular person, group of persons or organizations. It is also not an attempt to enshrine the derogatory use of any of the terms.


At first glance, the church girl and the christian girl look very much the same, as they both could talk the same way – all the christianese and kingdom cliches, be top level church leaders et al but the main difference between them is the conversations in their hearts and the very INTENTs thereof. Interestingly, being spirit beings, humans are able to somehow perceive authenticity of actions and words based on the aura being exuded by the person and this could give us a peep into the real conversations in the heart of the individual. As such, the church girl would not sound and look as true and convinced as the christian girl if they were to talk on a particular subject matter. Just to illustrate this, I once read a story in Every Day With Jesus (July 3, 2012), of a great actor and an old minister who both recited Psalm 23. When they were done, the actor after putting all his narrative skill – perfect diction and tone and the old minister faltering on some of the words, it was said of the actor, that he knew the psalm and of the old minister, that he knew the Shepherd.

The church girl almost always has her eyes set on people, either trying to impress them, deceive them or ensnare them and she depends on her natural instincts and prowess – especially her femininity, to achieve this. Traditionally, she could be defined as a girl who is “playing church” or a religious girl in church. Again, because her eyes are set on people  and ephemeral things, she could also be termed traditionally as a “carnal sister” even if she may not look or sound it. She could attend church programs, prayer meetings, night vigils and even evangelize for all the wrong reasons – she most likely would be doing it either as a duty or to impress someone/some people. What is central is that the church girl more often than not, has wrong intentions behind her actions even when the actions appear good and godly. In extreme cases, the church girl is highly manipulative and can

be described as someone whom the Word of God has hardened – almost with a seared conscience, rather than permeated and made pure at heart.

The christian girl however, has her eyes always set on her MASTER JESUS and on HIM alone in all she thinks and does. She, of course, being female, has her femininity lurking around, but has learnt over time, to master it, knowing that the arm of flesh will always fail. She genuinely loves people since the love of Jesus has been spread abroad in her heart and thus deals with them from the basis of this pure love. I guess she she can be called the true sister in church and described as one who truly loves Jesus not based on just her actions, but on the “sweet aura” she exudes. She would do things because she is passionate about them and they would be generally be geared towards helping and blessing people for no rewards of any sort. She is would often come across as simple, gullible and even naive, but her genuine sweetness always stands out. All of these does not make her not do or act wrongly but even at such times, it will be judged as a genuine mistake or error.


Please, with an open heart and mind, journey with me as we explore a few manifestations of this concept….

To Be Continued…

By Uche Adaigbe